Helping Kids Bounce Back: What Do We Know About Family Effects on Kids
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Being able to make it through the tough times and bounce back is a skill. Children have to learn this skill and families can help.
How can families help?
There are important jobs a parent must do to help a child learn what is expected and set limits to guide their child. These things are very important!
- Parental monitoring – know where your child is and who he/she is spending time with. Set a time to be home or to check-in.
- Parents who are distant, uninvolved, and inconsistent confuse the child and make him/her feel like they are wandering without a connection. Children need a family connection to endure the tough times.
- Unclear family rules, expectations and rewards also create confusion. Be clear. Ask yourself what limits are important and then talk to children during calm times to be sure they are clear on your expectations for succeeding and for behaving.
- Substance abuse never a good way for children to learn to get through the tough times and seeing parents use substances to combat stress sets an example they will remember forever.
What to do instead:
There are many ways we can protect children in the family to help them learn to survive tough times.
Children who
- have a close bond or attachment with at least one person usually can make it
- have emotional support available can make it
- grow up in a home with high warmth will make it
- have high, clear expectations for success in school and life outlined to them
- have a sense of connectedness will make it
- have a chance to contribute in meaningful ways like through age suitable chores will make it
- have a family that has a support network of many people through the community, church or extended family will make it
- have had others be sensitive to their family cultural belief systems will make it